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Why your Knife is Nothing Special
Author - Niko Pueringer

So you have a black on black knife, eh? It pops out of the handle real fast, and makes you feel powerful? It's sharp as well?

Hm...I have one of those knives. In fact, I've had one of those knives for a year and a half now. In fact, my knife is superior to your knife because I've actually used it. My knife has experience, and experience is something that cannot be bought. It can only be earned, and my knife has earned it. Yours hasn't. In fact, my knife is sitting in front of me while I type. I was just using it to open boxes at work.

My knife is so superior to your knife, that while I was opening boxes, I noticed that one of my fingernails needed trimming. No sweat for MY knife. I just flicked it open. Actually, I didn't flick it open. I thought about flicking it open, and my knife sensed my thoughts, and did the work for me. All I had to do was move my hand out of the way.

After that, my knife trimmed my nail as if my nail were a tomato. In fact, I've cut tomatoes with my knife as well. All I had to do was hold my knife over the sink, and drop the tomatoes over it. They would slice in two, with no effort from me. That's a fact.

You see, this is why my knife i s superior. You have no stories to tell with your knife. It cost you two dollars? Mine was free. My Dad gave me my knife. In fact, he has one just like it as well, and he's had it for a couple of years now. Your first knife, on the other hand, melted. What a wimpy knife.

The End.
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